| There are a variety of errors applicants make | | | | opportunity to bring your experiences to life for |
| when filling out their MBA applications. These | | | | the reader, but you also ignore the task of |
| errors can be avoided by understanding them and | | | | self-evaluation, which is critical to business school |
| double checking your work. Here are the most | | | | admissions, as evidenced by comments quoted |
| common errors and how to avoid them. Careless | | | | throughout this course. Losing Sight of the Big |
| Errors There is really no excuse for careless | | | | Picture In the last lesson we emphasized the |
| errors, and having even one on your application | | | | importance of including details. But as always, |
| can affect the way you are perceived. You have | | | | quality is paramount: the details you choose should |
| more than enough time to proofread and have | | | | be relevant and insightful. Some applicants will |
| others look over your essay. If an error slips | | | | describe their work in boring technical detail |
| through, your readers may assume that you are | | | | without the necessary reflection and analysis. |
| careless, disorganized, or not serious enough | | | | What I oftentimes see is that people use the |
| about your application. Remember that spell check | | | | essays to focus on lots of things that are |
| does not catch all possible errors, and even | | | | extraneous to them, such as their individual work |
| grammar check is far from perfect. In addition to | | | | experience; what they do becomes more of a |
| typographical errors such as repeated words, you | | | | focus than who they are. I am really struggling to |
| have to read the essay carefully to catch | | | | get to know the applicants as people and I frankly |
| mistakes in meaning that might come in the form | | | | don't want to hear about the minutiae of their |
| of a grammatically correct sentence. Let these | | | | work. I want to hear why they chose to do what |
| humorous but unfortunate examples be a lesson | | | | they do, why they chose to go to school where |
| to read your essay carefully for unintended | | | | they did, what they value about those individual |
| meanings and meaningless sentences: * It was like | | | | experiences and the impact of these experiences |
| getting admitted to an Ivory League school. * | | | | on their development as people. - The Wharton |
| Berkeley has a reputation of breeding nationalists | | | | School, University of Pennsylvania One of |
| and communists. * I'd like to attend a college | | | | applicants' biggest mistakes is that they don't see |
| where I can expose myself to many diverse | | | | the big picture; they only see the small picture so |
| people. * I was totally free except for the rules. * | | | | they get involved in minutiae. They get too |
| In a word, the experience taught me the | | | | focused on what they've been doing, detail by |
| importance of dedication, friendship, and goals. * I | | | | detail. They just regurgitate or reiterate what |
| have an extensive knowledge of the value of | | | | they've been doing without much thought as to |
| intelligence. * I envy people with a lot of time in | | | | where they see themselves going. - The Amos |
| their hands. Vague Generalities The most | | | | Tuck School (Dartmouth College) |
| egregious generalizations are the ones that have | | | | Long-windedness Sometimes the same writer |
| been used so many times that they have | | | | who relies too heavily on generalizations will also |
| become clichés. For example, "I learned the | | | | provide too many irrelevant details - and in this |
| value of hard work." That statement doesn't tell | | | | case we're referring to the truly irrelevant, not |
| us anything insightful or interesting about the | | | | just the boring technical points. That's why most |
| writer's character, because it has been said so | | | | essays submitted to EssayEdge are returned with |
| many times as to become meaningless. | | | | significantly reduced word counts and, conversely, |
| Generalities come in the same form as | | | | suggestions for additions. The problem is that |
| clichés, except with different content. They | | | | writers often don't consider what is actually |
| are always superficial and usually unoriginal but | | | | necessary to include, or they repeat points freely. |
| haven't quite reached the level of predictability | | | | Example of Irrelevant Detail: "After a meeting |
| that would make them qualify as clichés. | | | | with my adviser, I returned home to think over |
| Consider this before-and-after set to learn how to | | | | the matter more carefully. Ultimately I came to |
| evaluate this factor in your writing: Before: In the | | | | the conclusion that my global interests would best |
| first project I managed, I learned many valuable | | | | be served by a double major in international |
| lessons about the importance of teamwork. After: | | | | relations and business." In this example, we learn |
| In the first project I managed, I made an effort | | | | nothing about the applicant from the mention of |
| to incorporate all my colleagues as equal | | | | his meeting with an adviser. What's relevant are |
| members of a team, soliciting their feedback and | | | | his interests and the decision he made based on |
| deferring to their expertise as needed. Terms like | | | | them. The details about how he arrived at the |
| "valuable lessons" and "teamwork" are vague and | | | | decision are not illustrative of his character in any |
| do not really convey anything meaningful about | | | | way and are therefore superfluous. Example of |
| the applicant's experience. In contrast, the revised | | | | Redundancy: "The experience taught me a great |
| version explains the team dynamic in more detail, | | | | deal about hard work. I learned that hard work |
| showing specifically how the applicant exercised | | | | requires focus as well as pure effort." The first |
| teamwork principles. The passage should go on to | | | | sentence is unnecessary, because the second |
| include even more detail, perhaps by naming a | | | | sentence makes the same point with more |
| particular colleague and discussing his interaction | | | | specificity. In addition to superfluous content, you |
| with that person. Sounding contrived is a problem | | | | also have to watch out for wordy writing. |
| related to overly general writing. Applicants often | | | | Wordiness not only takes up valuable space, but it |
| have preconceived notions about what they | | | | also can confuse the important ideas you're trying |
| should be discussing, and they try to force those | | | | to convey. Short sentences are more forceful |
| points onto the experiences they relate. The best | | | | because they are direct and to the point. Before: |
| way to counteract this tendency is to start with | | | | "My recognition of the fact that the project was |
| your experiences and let the insights flow from | | | | finally over was a deeply satisfying moment that |
| there. Think about your most meaningful | | | | will forever linger in my memory." After: |
| experiences and describe them honestly. Often | | | | "Completing the project at last gave me an |
| you will find that you don't need to impose | | | | enduring sense of fulfillment." Certain phrases such |
| conclusions because the personal qualities you're | | | | as "the fact that" are usually unnecessary. Notice |
| trying to demonstrate will be inherent in the | | | | how the revised version focuses on active verbs |
| details. If you decide that clarification is necessary, | | | | rather than forms of "to be" and adverbs and |
| the transition should still be natural. Summarizing | | | | adjectives. Big Words Using longer, fancier words |
| Your Resume Perhaps the most common | | | | does not make you sound more intelligent, since |
| personal-statement blunder is to write an | | | | anyone can consult a thesaurus. Simpler language |
| expository resume of your background and | | | | is almost always preferable, as it demonstrates |
| experience. This is not to say that the schools are | | | | your ability to think and express yourself clearly. |
| not interested in your accomplishments. However, | | | | Before: "Although I did a plethora of activities in |
| other portions of your application will provide this | | | | high school, my assiduous efforts enabled me to |
| information, and the reader does not want to | | | | succeed." After: "Although I juggled many |
| read your life story in narrative form. Strive for | | | | activities in high school, I succeeded through |
| depth, not breadth. An effective personal | | | | persistent work." Be sure to read through your |
| statement will focus on one or two specific | | | | MBA essay a few times, each time reviewing the |
| themes, incidents, or points. Trying to cram too | | | | most common errors. When an error is identified, |
| much into your essay will end up in nothing | | | | take the time to rewrite your essay in the |
| meaningful being conveyed. One common | | | | manner suggested above. The result will be a |
| "mistake" in essays is to narrate one's resume, or | | | | winning MBA essay. |
| life history, without any reflection or evaluation or | | | | Michael Choi is the Managing Editor of EssayEdge |
| self-criticism. - Yale School of Management By | | | | has helped thousands of MBA applicants improve |
| narrating your resume, you not only lose an | | | | their MBA essay. |